Trying to make it to your lunch break or just starting your day? Feel like zoning out and not thinking about a damn thing? Play some Tic-Tac-Toe like the good ol’ days when you had literally nothing else to do. (more…)
Most of us have fantasized about having a three-way at some point whether or not we want to admit it. There are all sorts of different gender combinations, but my first three-way was with two males. That’s many a girl’s ultimate fantasy, but mine was a little bit different – one of the men is gay and the other is straight.
I can’t quite remember how the idea surfaced or whose it was, but when I was 19 or 20 my gay friend Brandon and I decided we wanted to experiment with a three-way. None of our friends knew each other, so we had to find someone that only one of us knew. I struggled to think of someone it wouldn’t be awkward with, but he thought of a friend he figured would be interested. I have no idea how he possibly propositioned him, but it worked. I was immediately nervous, and all I was able to picture was 3 meerkats humping – but I was also extremely excited.
My friend was house-sitting for his parents in their beautiful alpine cabin one weekend and we decided it was a perfect opportunity. While getting ready for the evening I scrubbed and shaved nearly everything I have; then (more…)
Short on Time? Scroll Down for the Quick Analysis!
The Flowermate V5.0S Mini Pro from Vaped is a compact, rectangular-shaped, lightweight vape with several temperature settings that can fit right into your pocket. It’s a little more updated than some vapes because it has a digital display that shows the temperature setting and battery consumption. It has a glass mouthpiece that cools the vapor as you inhale it, and also includes a water pipe adapter if you’d like to attach it to your bubbler for an even cleaner pull – I’ve never seen that before.
It has a temperature range of 104°F – 446°F which is a pretty broad range, and the temperature is set by using the two buttons located near the digital screen. Once you choose a setting, it takes about 30 seconds to heat up. It charges via USB so it’s incredibly easy to charge most places you go. A full charge should get you about 75 minutes; I noticed (more…)
Sex acts for the first time are pretty terrifying for everyone because you really have no idea what you’re doing. No one gave you a tutorial, no one gave you training wheels, the Internet didn’t have all of the things on it yet, and you were quite literally taking a stab in the dark. Or perhaps it was daytime.
I was horny AF growing up, so I definitely had a lot of practice with myself. However, I’d never touched a real penis and didn’t exactly know how they operate. The closest I’d gotten to a penis before age 17 was a squiggly vibrating pen (The Dizzy Doodler) I’d push up my pussy, grabbing random guy friends (as I’ve mentioned, there was a lot of grabbing at my school), and an auto-penetrating vibrator I was able to purchase 007-style online on the family computer when my parents weren’t home one night. Remembering to clear the browser history, of course.
I had my first kiss with a boy when I was 12 while I was on the road with my parents, and my boobs seemed to become conversation pieces early on in junior high and high school and were always getting groped by someone. (I realize how Trump-like this all sounds, but it was actually consensual among all parties. Teenagers are extremely horny.) I masturbated pretty frequently and fantasized about what having sex feels like, but I remember being quite nervous in advance about my first time.
At 17 I figured that the next step in the succession of sex things would be to give a blow job. I did (more…)
Short on Time? Scroll Down to the Bottom for the Quick Analysis!
In full disclosure/testimony, I am not low as I write this review, thanks to the Arizer Air from Vaped. I typically try a product out a few times before I review it, and usually once again right before I write about it so I can capture my most honest impressions of it. I just (more…)
Ophelia’s First Anniversary Bash Word Search!
In case you missed it last time I posted it:
I just don’t recommend leaving it at your communal work printer for very long, because bills.
It’s halfway through the month, and we’re only days away from Spring in the Northern Hemisphere. Those of you in warmer climates haven’t been too affected; but the poor bastards (like me) who just had to dig our way out of Storm Stella in the Midwest and Eastern U.S. have just about had enough. We all need a little something to look forward to right now, so I figured it’s a great time to get my Anniversary Bash going.
Below is the Calendar of Carousal followed by descriptions of the events. Extra activities and giveaways will be added along the way, so subscribe or check back frequently to be notified of what has been released.
March 15 – Pot Pocket giveaway opens – enter here: Bash Giveaway #1: Pot Pocket – 6 Prizes!
16 – Reader Poll – What Ails You?
17 – ‘Firsts’ Story – It’s my First Anniversary Bash, so I figured I’d tell you stories about some of my ‘first times.’ This first true story is titled “I Kissed a Girl Who is a Guy.”
18 – Review: The Womanizer Pro 40 from Good Vibes – a toy for clitoral stimulation
20 – Chameleon Glass giveaway opens!
21 – Topic: Depression
22 – Review: Chameleon Glass Wake ‘n Bake Mug
23 – Review: Bucky King Co. – we’ll check out their pipes and portable gravity bong
24 – ‘Firsts’ Story
25 – Topic: Cannabis
27 – ‘Firsts’ Story
28 – Reader Poll
29 – #WednesdayWisdom: “Ask Ophelia” – I get a lot of questions, so I figured I’d tell you the answers
30 – Reader Poll – Bash Ends
Pot Pocket Giveaway is Open
We’ve all had that Cheech and Chong moment where we’ve gone to look for that joint we may or may not have forgotten about in our pocket, and it comes out looking like a used straw wrapper that Bigfoot sat on.
So worry no more, Pot Pocket and I are going to take care of you. We’re giving away 2 Pot Pocket Grand Prizes, and 4 Pot Pocket stickers to the runner-ups.
Favorite Vacation Photo
Tweet or Instagram an old picture you’ve taken on a memorable vacation. It can be of you, scenery, or an interesting soup can you saw in an alley. I’m just looking for creativity/thought.
Thoughts With a Dildo in Hand has existed in my mind for a couple of years now, and I finally released it to the world just over one year ago. For my first anniversary, I’m throwing a month-long virtual bash in your honor. After all – I’d just be talking to myself if I didn’t have my faithful readers.
So, thank you.
To celebrate, I’ll be reviewing some awesome products and giving away a bunch more. I’ll be sharing personal stories of other ‘firsts’ I’ve had, and have other fun things to do too. There will also be llamas.