My First Time: I Kissed a Girl Who is a Guy

As I’ve mentioned, I started to really make friends in high school because everyone fits in somewhere. I mostly nerded out with the music department, but I also found a home with the ‘goth’ kids. Not emo, but goth – dark clothes, wallet chains, skulls, angry music, platform leather boots, and pants with legs you could fit two of your friends in. Because of my depression, I’ve always identified with the more macabre things in life and really found comfort in that crowd.

I often sat with the goth kids at lunch, usually with my best friend. For no apparent reason one day during our junior year, she told our friend Heidi that she should kiss me. I’d never kissed a girl before, but the idea didn’t actually sound terrible to me. Heidi had long, blonde hair, eyes as blue as the ocean, big tits, and a smile that warmed your soul. She’s absolutely gorgeous, so I didn’t exactly protest.

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What is Kinkly, Who Are These ‘Sex Blogging Superheroes,’ and Why Do I Care?

Blogging didn’t even exist yet when I was born in ’85, and shoddy dial-up Internet didn’t reach US homes until the 90’s. Growing up as an 80’s/90’s kid, you relied solely on books for information. If you wanted to learn or understand anything, yes, you had to go to this place called a ‘Library’ and scour through books (with no Ctrl-F) endlessly until you found what you were looking for. As you can imagine or have experienced, this is very time-consuming, and mostly unhelpful.

This practice was fine for book reports and learning about the Civil War, but as a developing adolescent there were only so many books for me about ‘What is this vagina thing?,’ ‘Oh-I own something called a G-spot?,’ and later in life, ‘My partners don’t make me orgasm so there’s probably something wrong with me, right?’ I remember sitting in the corner of a Barnes and Noble a few times growing up reading titles such as “Where Did I Come From?” and “What’s Happening to My Body?,” taking care to have a Highlights magazine keep the book hidden.

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Ophelia’s First Anniversary Bash – Giveaways, Reviews, Activities, and Stray Llamas

Thoughts With a Dildo in Hand has existed in my mind for a couple of years now, and I finally released it to the world just over one year ago. For my first anniversary, I’m throwing a month-long virtual bash in your honor. After all – I’d just be talking to myself if I didn’t have my faithful readers.

So, thank you.

To celebrate, I’ll be reviewing some awesome products and giving away a bunch more. I’ll be sharing personal stories of other ‘firsts’ I’ve had, and have other fun things to do too. There will also be llamas.

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The Top 10 Myths About the Magic Wand Original and Rechargeable

 

The Magic Wand is nothing new to the sex toy world, and it has formed itself a great reputation as one of the BEST sex toys out there – but not all of the chatter is very ‘becumming.’ I believe that both the Magic Wand Original and Rechargeable are quality, sophisticated, and necessary products that don’t deserve unfounded rumors. Based on many questions my readers have privately asked me about the Wand and opinions I’ve seen oot and aboot on the Internet, I decided that there was just too much speculation and very little fact. So I’ve stepped into the (cock) ring and am prepared to battle the Top Ten Myths about the Magic Wand.

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Review: My Twisted #Orgasm from the ‘G-Twist’ by Good Vibrations

Scroll down for the Quick Tech Specs!

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With all of the drama that’s been going on around here, I swear I haven’t jerked off in ages. I kept thinking about it, and all it did was amp up my libido. I started getting wet just reading a recipe for compost tea for cannabis plants, so I figured I was well overdue to cum. I’ve been meaning to write a review for the G-Twist from Good Vibes and thought this would be a great opportunity. This is actually an improved, updated version from the old one whose battery compartment gave some users trouble.

Since I was getting wet over absolutely nothing, I figured I didn’t need porn but went for it anyway. I like porn. It gets me incredibly aroused, and I LOVE getting all worked up and then satisfying it. I saw a “Military Uniform”category on my second favorite porn site, and it caught my attention. I settled on this patriotic gem here and grabbed the G-Twist.

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YouTube Music’s New Silent Ad Speaks Volumes for the Transgender and Crossdressing Community

I tend to watch comedies because there’s already a substantial amount of drama and action in my life and I desperately need the comedy to round it out. My husband likes history too, so we’ve been watching this ridiculous comedy on Hulu called Quickdraw. Despite paying actual currency for a Hulu Plus membership, you’re still subjected to watching a slew of ads – usually 3 at a time. I typically spend that time wondering what the heck I’m really paying for anyway.

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I Hooked Up with the Comcast Guy | ‘The Future of Awesome’

Apparently I’m the kind of person who lives ‘on the edge.’ My mother has always been very shy and would rather die than be the last person to walk late into a room full of people, so she’s never understood my ‘bravery.’ And I say ‘brave’ in quotes because it can often be interchanged for ‘stupid,’ ‘risky,’ or ‘harebrained.’

I keep having more and more epiphanies in the past couple years due to the incredible mind-expansion that weed is known for, and one of the epiphanies has been realizing what it is that leads me to taking more chances than the standard human being. I think when you have depression, you don’t always value your life as highly as others may value theirs. This seems to have manifested itself over the years in a way that makes me incredibly comfortable taking chances by trying new and terrifying things, meeting up with strangers from the Internet, or traveling to faraway destinations alone. Depression gives you that mindset where you don’t always look twice to see if a bus is coming before crossing the street, so I’ve always sort of lived this way. Or I’ve simply just been bestowed with the reckless bug. Either way, I now have an endless supply of awesome stories about the crazy shit that I’ve encountered. One of my favorite stories takes place in my parents’ house with the Comcast Guy.

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How Niagara Falls Feels Against Your Clit

If you’ve ever been to Niagara Falls, you were first struck by their immense beauty and presence, then you were impressed by how powerful the falls must be to create an almost deafening sound that gently rattles the Earth surrounding them. I hadn’t managed to make it to the Falls in my cognizant adult life, so my husband took me there a couple of years ago. It now occupies a high slot on the list of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been (especially at night), and I really enjoyed going down below them on the Maid of the Mist boat tour.

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I remember being on the boat at the foot of the falls having to yell to my husband to be heard over the thunderous sound of them crashing where they met the water just yards in front of us. Flowing at over 84,000 cubic feet per second from an intimidating 167 feet above our heads, I couldn’t help but feel small and powerless as the vibration rumbled throughout my body.

I was recently reminded of some of these feelings, and it’s not because we visited Buffalo again.

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Preview – Champagne for Your Genitals | A KlittraJet Review

Here’s a preview of my experience with KlittraJet – the awesome erotic shower and bath system that was my giveaway for Valentine’s Day. Stay tuned, you’ll hear all about it tomorrow!

In the meantime, you can check KlittraJet out here or follow them on Twitter here!

“I remember being on the boat at the foot of the falls having to yell to my husband to be heard over the thunderous sound of them crashing where they met us on the water just yards in front of us. Flowing at over 84,000 cubic feet per second from an intimidating 167 feet above our heads, I couldn’t help but feel small and powerless as the vibration rumbled throughout my body.”

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How I Taught Myself to Squirt Like a Porn Star with Sheets of San Francisco and the Njoy Pure Wand

We’ve all at some point seen the porn where the chick shoots liquid from her crotch 20 feet across the room and thought to ourselves, ‘There’s no way that’s real, she has to be peeing.’ But despite my numerous attempts at replaying the videos right at ‘the moment’ to see what it looks like, where it came from and how, I’ve always been a bit skeptical while remaining sincerely curious and intrigued.

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It took my entire life thus far to be able to nail down the difference between a G-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm, and when I finally did a few months ago I decided that learning to ‘squirt’ was going to be my next mission. There was only one problem; if I happened to actually be successful, where did I plan on doing this without making a total mess?

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Preview: How I Taught Myself to Squirt

One of my recent discoveries is Sheets of San Francisco, a company that makes fluid-proof sheets and pillow cases. Here’s an excerpt from my upcoming review that’ll be published tomorrow:

“We’ve all at some point seen the porn where the chick shoots liquid from her crotch 20 feet across the room and thought to ourselves, ‘There’s no way that’s real, she has to be peeing.’ But despite my numerous attempts at replaying the videos right at ‘the moment’ to see what it looks like, where it came from, and how, I’ve always been a bit skeptical while remaining sincerely curious.

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Introducing KlittraJet Erotic Shower & Bath System! | Valentine’s Day Giveaway + 50% Off Code!

I just teamed up with @KlittraJet to bring you an erotic shower and bath system giveaway! They’re a brand new company that is launching this spring and I’m super excited about them! It was designed with the ladies in mind, which is great news for our clits. However, it’s discrete enough to look like a normal shower system, and even the rest of the household will love this thing beating down on their backs.

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The shower kit is a shower head with a super long hose to reach down to the tub. It has several ‘massage’ settings for you to massage……..anything and anyone you want. The shower and bath kit includes the same shower head but also comes with the Magic Lotus, which is a personal-sized jet for your clit. Or your butt. Your choice.

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This guy’s having fun…

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Joining the Mile ‘High’ Club | Cumming in for a Landing – True Story

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We’ve all heard of the ‘Mile High Club,’ but ironically I’d somehow never ‘joined’ – so I decided to rectify that situation on a recent flight down south. I was alone, but the rules seem to indicate that there is such a thing as the ‘Solo Aviator Division.’ A last minute aircraft switch caused us all to get reassigned seats, which actually afforded me somewhat of an upgrade from my initial seat. Our original plane had two seats on either side of the aisle which makes for a rather intimate flight, but the equipment change to a larger plane had us all spread out with room to spare. I found myself in the window seat of row 8 with a handsome man in a business suit to my right with an empty seat between us.

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