New Affiliate Announcement

There are a ton of great companies out there, but there are also a lot of crap companies who scam people or just sort of suck. When I choose to buy from or work with a new company, the biggest things I look out for are: quality of products, safety of products, reviews, customer service, ease of shopping, and company reputation.

I’ve written several reviews for a variety of great companies, and I’ve even partnered up with a few of them as an affiliate. This puts me in somewhat of a ‘spokesperson’ capacity for these brands, so I always make sure that I vet what I put my name on. Some of my current partnerships include: Amazon, Good Vibrations Toys, Smokazon, The Nooky Box, and more.

It is now my pleasure to announce my latest affiliation: (more…)

All of My Black Friday Affiliate Codes and Deals in One Place

Whether we like it or not, that season is upon us here in the U.S. We’ve traded in our bathing suits for hoodies, there’s a chill in the air, and we’re still trying to justify why we didn’t complete our 2017 New Year’s resolution. Some people LOVE the holidays, and some people hate them. But what do we all love?

Buying fun shit.

Just the sight of the delivery truck is enough to make many of us squeal a little inside, and lots of folks feel that same euphoria from giving gifts to others. But no matter if you’re making purchases for yourself or the next coolest person you know, we all want to save money if we can – and Black Friday is one of the best opportunities to do that.

So, to make your life easier, I decided to (more…)

My Squirting Tell-All Guest Post on SwingTowns’ Blog

SwingTowns is a large dating network for polyamorous, swinger, and fetish lifestyles, and they recently approached me to write for them about my experiences with squirting. Ever since I figured out how to do it, I’ve been an advocate for others to learn and experience it themselves. I realized that you don’t have to be a porn star, or any other star, to squirt. (more…)

Ophelia’s First Anniversary Bash Word Search!

Ophelia’s First Anniversary Bash Word Search!

In case you missed it last time I posted it:

You can print this blog page, copy and paste it into another program of your choice, print it from Word, or open it in Word and use the highlighting tool to play.

I just don’t recommend leaving it at your communal work printer for very long, because bills.

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Review: Womanizer Pro40 from Good Vibes

Short on Time? Quick Analysis at the Bottom!

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If you’ve never heard of or used a Womanizer, it’s actually a pretty interesting concept if you can get past the name. About zero people understand why they chose “Womanizer” as a brand, but let’s just go with it for now. Built specifically for the clit, this innovative little tool is nothing like your vibrator at home.

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Pot Pocket Giveaway | 6 Prizes!

Pot Pocket Giveaway is Open

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This giveaway is a neat little invention that I stumbled across on Twitter and at the New England Cannabis Network (NECANN) convention in Boston – the Pot Pocket

We’ve all had that Cheech and Chong moment where we’ve gone to look for that joint we may or may not have forgotten about in our pocket, and it comes out looking like a used straw wrapper that Bigfoot sat on.

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So worry no more, Pot Pocket and I are going to take care of you. We’re giving away 2 Pot Pocket Grand Prizes, and 4 Pot Pocket stickers to the runner-ups.

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What is Kinkly, Who Are These ‘Sex Blogging Superheroes,’ and Why Do I Care?

Blogging didn’t even exist yet when I was born in ’85, and shoddy dial-up Internet didn’t reach US homes until the 90’s. Growing up as an 80’s/90’s kid, you relied solely on books for information. If you wanted to learn or understand anything, yes, you had to go to this place called a ‘Library’ and scour through books (with no Ctrl-F) endlessly until you found what you were looking for. As you can imagine or have experienced, this is very time-consuming, and mostly unhelpful.

This practice was fine for book reports and learning about the Civil War, but as a developing adolescent there were only so many books for me about ‘What is this vagina thing?,’ ‘Oh-I own something called a G-spot?,’ and later in life, ‘My partners don’t make me orgasm so there’s probably something wrong with me, right?’ I remember sitting in the corner of a Barnes and Noble a few times growing up reading titles such as “Where Did I Come From?” and “What’s Happening to My Body?,” taking care to have a Highlights magazine keep the book hidden.

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Ophelia’s First Anniversary Bash – Giveaways, Reviews, Activities, and Stray Llamas

Thoughts With a Dildo in Hand has existed in my mind for a couple of years now, and I finally released it to the world just over one year ago. For my first anniversary, I’m throwing a month-long virtual bash in your honor. After all – I’d just be talking to myself if I didn’t have my faithful readers.

So, thank you.

To celebrate, I’ll be reviewing some awesome products and giving away a bunch more. I’ll be sharing personal stories of other ‘firsts’ I’ve had, and have other fun things to do too. There will also be llamas.

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The Top 10 Myths About the Magic Wand Original and Rechargeable

 

The Magic Wand is nothing new to the sex toy world, and it has formed itself a great reputation as one of the BEST sex toys out there – but not all of the chatter is very ‘becumming.’ I believe that both the Magic Wand Original and Rechargeable are quality, sophisticated, and necessary products that don’t deserve unfounded rumors. Based on many questions my readers have privately asked me about the Wand and opinions I’ve seen oot and aboot on the Internet, I decided that there was just too much speculation and very little fact. So I’ve stepped into the (cock) ring and am prepared to battle the Top Ten Myths about the Magic Wand.

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Review: My Twisted #Orgasm from the ‘G-Twist’ by Good Vibrations

Scroll down for the Quick Tech Specs!

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With all of the drama that’s been going on around here, I swear I haven’t jerked off in ages. I kept thinking about it, and all it did was amp up my libido. I started getting wet just reading a recipe for compost tea for cannabis plants, so I figured I was well overdue to cum. I’ve been meaning to write a review for the G-Twist from Good Vibes and thought this would be a great opportunity. This is actually an improved, updated version from the old one whose battery compartment gave some users trouble.

Since I was getting wet over absolutely nothing, I figured I didn’t need porn but went for it anyway. I like porn. It gets me incredibly aroused, and I LOVE getting all worked up and then satisfying it. I saw a “Military Uniform”category on my second favorite porn site, and it caught my attention. I settled on this patriotic gem here and grabbed the G-Twist.

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Playing with Porn, Not Watching It

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My husband and I like getting together with our friends occasionally for ‘game night’ – ie: drinking and perverse commentary while playing some form of inappropriate card or board game. Our best friends just had their second baby in two years a few months ago so it has been challenging to see each other, but we finally were able to recently and checked out a new game.

What could possibly be better than dildos, scissoring, big dicks, and alcohol? Nothing. That’s why Porn: The Game! was created.

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Hiking in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with Roll-uh-Bowl | 20+ Pictures!

I’ve always appreciated animals and nature, and the White Mountains in New Hampshire has become one of my favorite spots in the world. I’ve been going up there since I was 18 years old and still spend a lot of time there throughout the year.

I’ve had a lot going on in the last few months, and I recently finalized some things that were pretty time-consuming. I found myself struggling to stay motivated in the weeks leading up to the end so I decided I needed something to look forward to in order to get through it. So I booked myself a room for one for a week at our resort up in the mountains. Whenever I felt overwhelmed or got depressed, I’d fantasize about what I’d do on my ‘mental health holiday’ to get my spirits up.

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How Niagara Falls Feels Against Your Clit

If you’ve ever been to Niagara Falls, you were first struck by their immense beauty and presence, then you were impressed by how powerful the falls must be to create an almost deafening sound that gently rattles the Earth surrounding them. I hadn’t managed to make it to the Falls in my cognizant adult life, so my husband took me there a couple of years ago. It now occupies a high slot on the list of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been (especially at night), and I really enjoyed going down below them on the Maid of the Mist boat tour.

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I remember being on the boat at the foot of the falls having to yell to my husband to be heard over the thunderous sound of them crashing where they met the water just yards in front of us. Flowing at over 84,000 cubic feet per second from an intimidating 167 feet above our heads, I couldn’t help but feel small and powerless as the vibration rumbled throughout my body.

I was recently reminded of some of these feelings, and it’s not because we visited Buffalo again.

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Preview – Champagne for Your Genitals | A KlittraJet Review

Here’s a preview of my experience with KlittraJet – the awesome erotic shower and bath system that was my giveaway for Valentine’s Day. Stay tuned, you’ll hear all about it tomorrow!

In the meantime, you can check KlittraJet out here or follow them on Twitter here!

“I remember being on the boat at the foot of the falls having to yell to my husband to be heard over the thunderous sound of them crashing where they met us on the water just yards in front of us. Flowing at over 84,000 cubic feet per second from an intimidating 167 feet above our heads, I couldn’t help but feel small and powerless as the vibration rumbled throughout my body.”

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How I Taught Myself to Squirt Like a Porn Star with Sheets of San Francisco and the Njoy Pure Wand

We’ve all at some point seen the porn where the chick shoots liquid from her crotch 20 feet across the room and thought to ourselves, ‘There’s no way that’s real, she has to be peeing.’ But despite my numerous attempts at replaying the videos right at ‘the moment’ to see what it looks like, where it came from and how, I’ve always been a bit skeptical while remaining sincerely curious and intrigued.

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It took my entire life thus far to be able to nail down the difference between a G-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm, and when I finally did a few months ago I decided that learning to ‘squirt’ was going to be my next mission. There was only one problem; if I happened to actually be successful, where did I plan on doing this without making a total mess?

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Preview: How I Taught Myself to Squirt

One of my recent discoveries is Sheets of San Francisco, a company that makes fluid-proof sheets and pillow cases. Here’s an excerpt from my upcoming review that’ll be published tomorrow:

“We’ve all at some point seen the porn where the chick shoots liquid from her crotch 20 feet across the room and thought to ourselves, ‘There’s no way that’s real, she has to be peeing.’ But despite my numerous attempts at replaying the videos right at ‘the moment’ to see what it looks like, where it came from, and how, I’ve always been a bit skeptical while remaining sincerely curious.

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Introducing KlittraJet Erotic Shower & Bath System! | Valentine’s Day Giveaway + 50% Off Code!

I just teamed up with @KlittraJet to bring you an erotic shower and bath system giveaway! They’re a brand new company that is launching this spring and I’m super excited about them! It was designed with the ladies in mind, which is great news for our clits. However, it’s discrete enough to look like a normal shower system, and even the rest of the household will love this thing beating down on their backs.

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The shower kit is a shower head with a super long hose to reach down to the tub. It has several ‘massage’ settings for you to massage……..anything and anyone you want. The shower and bath kit includes the same shower head but also comes with the Magic Lotus, which is a personal-sized jet for your clit. Or your butt. Your choice.

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This guy’s having fun…

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