As I’ve mentioned, I started to really make friends in high school because everyone fits in somewhere. I mostly nerded out with the music department, but I also found a home with the ‘goth’ kids. Not emo, but goth – dark clothes, wallet chains, skulls, angry music, platform leather boots, and pants with legs you could fit two of your friends in. Because of my depression, I’ve always identified with the more macabre things in life and really found comfort in that crowd.
I often sat with the goth kids at lunch, usually with my best friend. For no apparent reason one day during our junior year, she told our friend Heidi that she should kiss me. I’d never kissed a girl before, but the idea didn’t actually sound terrible to me. Heidi had long, blonde hair, eyes as blue as the ocean, big tits, and a smile that warmed your soul. She’s absolutely gorgeous, so I didn’t exactly protest.
Blogging didn’t even exist yet when I was born in ’85, and shoddy dial-up Internet didn’t reach US homes until the 90’s. Growing up as an 80’s/90’s kid, you relied solely on books for information. If you wanted to learn or understand anything, yes, you had to go to this place called a ‘Library’ and scour through books (with no Ctrl-F) endlessly until you found what you were looking for. As you can imagine or have experienced, this is very time-consuming, and mostly unhelpful.
This practice was fine for book reports and learning about the Civil War, but as a developing adolescent there were only so many books for me about ‘What is this vagina thing?,’ ‘Oh-I own something called a G-spot?,’ and later in life, ‘My partners don’t make me orgasm so there’s probably something wrong with me, right?’ I remember sitting in the corner of a Barnes and Noble a few times growing up reading titles such as “Where Did I Come From?” and “What’s Happening to My Body?,” taking care to have a Highlights magazine keep the book hidden.
I tend to watch comedies because there’s already a substantial amount of drama and action in my life and I desperately need the comedy to round it out. My husband likes history too, so we’ve been watching this ridiculous comedy on Hulu called Quickdraw. Despite paying actual currency for a Hulu Plus membership, you’re still subjected to watching a slew of ads – usually 3 at a time. I typically spend that time wondering what the heck I’m really paying for anyway.