Sex acts for the first time are pretty terrifying for everyone because you really have no idea what you’re doing. No one gave you a tutorial, no one gave you training wheels, the Internet didn’t have all of the things on it yet, and you were quite literally taking a stab in the dark. Or perhaps it was daytime.
I was horny AF growing up, so I definitely had a lot of practice with myself. However, I’d never touched a real penis and didn’t exactly know how they operate. The closest I’d gotten to a penis before age 17 was a squiggly vibrating pen (The Dizzy Doodler) I’d push up my pussy, grabbing random guy friends (as I’ve mentioned, there was a lot of grabbing at my school), and an auto-penetrating vibrator I was able to purchase 007-style online on the family computer when my parents weren’t home one night. Remembering to clear the browser history, of course.
I had my first kiss with a boy when I was 12 while I was on the road with my parents, and my boobs seemed to become conversation pieces early on in junior high and high school and were always getting groped by someone. (I realize how Trump-like this all sounds, but it was actually consensual among all parties. Teenagers are extremely horny.) I masturbated pretty frequently and fantasized about what having sex feels like, but I remember being quite nervous in advance about my first time.
At 17 I figured that the next step in the succession of sex things would be to give a blow job. I did (more…)