Apparently I’m the kind of person who lives ‘on the edge.’ My mother has always been very shy and would rather die than be the last person to walk late into a room full of people, so she’s never understood my ‘bravery.’ And I say ‘brave’ in quotes because it can often be interchanged for ‘stupid,’ ‘risky,’ or ‘harebrained.’
I keep having more and more epiphanies in the past couple years due to the incredible mind-expansion that weed is known for, and one of the epiphanies has been realizing what it is that leads me to taking more chances than the standard human being. I think when you have depression, you don’t always value your life as highly as others may value theirs. This seems to have manifested itself over the years in a way that makes me incredibly comfortable taking chances by trying new and terrifying things, meeting up with strangers from the Internet, or traveling to faraway destinations alone. Depression gives you that mindset where you don’t always look twice to see if a bus is coming before crossing the street, so I’ve always sort of lived this way. Or I’ve simply just been bestowed with the reckless bug. Either way, I now have an endless supply of awesome stories about the crazy shit that I’ve encountered. One of my favorite stories takes place in my parents’ house with the Comcast Guy.
I didn’t go to college immediately after high school; I wanted to take a year off to get my heart set on the right thing. My parents have a rental they built that is attached to their house, so I moved over there when I was 18 to begin to live on my own. I took a really good job with a health insurance company in the interim to save money for school, and they deemed me qualified to take part in a work-from-home pilot after I’d been there some time. I was beginning to resent the job, so I figured if I had to do it, it would be much more awesome to roll out of bed at 8:28 a.m. to be at work at 8:30 a.m. without ever leaving my pj pants.
Before I could start working from home, my company had to set up a home office at my house which involved furniture delivery and installation, and setting up a telephone line and Internet. I had a series of men meandering in and out putting my office together over the course of a couple days, and I was nearly ready to go as soon as I got the Internet up and running. My company had chosen Comcast for Internet, so they sent a technician out to get me going. I’m not a morning person at all, so I’d hopped out of bed long enough to put some pants and a bra on, straighten my hair, and swig some mouthwash before he was in my house doing his thing. They certainly could have sent worse; he was in his late 30’s – tan, blue eyes, in-shape, good-looking, and showed up alone.
I wasn’t anything to look at that particular morning, I remember exactly what I was wearing – dark gray cotton running pants with a thin, hot pink stripe down the side, and a tan gamer t-shirt that showed a couple getting married displaying the words “Game Over.” (I can’t remember the plot of a movie I watched a month ago, but apparently I remember that outfit from a decade ago.) I certainly wasn’t trying to impress anyone, I know that much.
My responsibilities included showing him where the office was and watching him walk in and out of the house multiple times – standard installation procedure. I was technically on the clock, and I certainly wasn’t minding the view so I hung out in my office to answer any questions he had.
I sat at my desk instant messaging with a friend on my computer and I swear the Comcast Guy kept checking out my rack. I thought it was in my head the first time I caught him but it happened several more times. I told my friend what was happening and after being subjected to one or two ‘laying cable’ jokes at my expense, he told me how fucking hot it would be if I were to hook up with the cable guy. While I wholeheartedly agreed, that stuff only happens in porn and movies so I rolled my eyes but the idea remained in my head.
My cat is super friendly and wants to be held all the time, so he jumped up on me as I sat there watching and talking to the guy as he worked. I held my cat against my chest softly petting him while the Comcast Guy (sorry – I never did catch his name) was working down on his knees next to me. Our conversation hushed briefly and completely out of nowhere he looked up at me and said, “Lucky cat…” It was confirmed. I knew I was not imagining his advances. He absolutely just hit on me after checking me out multiple times. I had no idea what to say, so I laughed, said “He is!” and he continued working.
My cat jumped off of me and found something else to do while I watched the guy continue to run the cables. Suddenly, still kneeling beside me as I sat there, he kept looking up at me with his piercing blue eyes as if he wanted to say something but kept hesitating. I gave him a soft look of encouragement and after our eyes met for some time, he told me he wants to kiss me but that he doesn’t want to offend me. Stunned and anxious I simply replied, “I probably wouldn’t stop you…..” Then he dropped his tools, took my face in his hands still on his knees, and kissed me hard. He stood up, grabbed my hand to pull me up into him, and continued kissing me running his fingers through my hair as I felt his tool belt press against my hips. He told me he’d been looking at me since he got there, so I admitted to catching him a few times.
I couldn’t believe I was actually hooking up with the Comcast Guy – I mean, this is the stuff porn is made of, I swear. People dream and fantasize about hooking up with the delivery girl or the electrician, but holy crap it was actually happening to me, unsolicited – he came onto me. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, but much of my life has been spent feeling that way so I ran with it. It was super hot.
So with my bedroom only across the hall, I grabbed his hand and led him there as he quickly started unbuckling his tool belt. With his tool belt hitting my floor, I threw him down on my bed on his back and climbed on top of him. I could feel his cock harden under my palm as I stroked him from the outside of his pants while I straddled him. My hand drifted up his chest and I outlined the word ‘COMCAST‘ embroidered on his bright, red polo with my finger before I began circling his nipples. I dismounted to lay beside him as I kissed him and unzipped his pants.
He wore no underwear so I stroked his dick lightly with my fingers, then pulled it out to lay in the open. It was a nice, thick cock and he moaned as I took hold of it. He must have been as excited as I was because within minutes of me stroking his cock he was cumming uncontrollably into my hand. He immediately reached for my pussy in turn, but I kissed him and told him not to worry about me. I grabbed a towel for him to clean up with, he zipped up, strapped his tool belt back on, and went back in my office to finish up and grab his tools.
On his way out we exchanged numbers, he gave me a deep goodbye kiss, then drove down my long driveway to his next appointment. I went back inside and fingered myself in my bed where we had just lain moments ago as I thought about the Comcast Guy. As soon as I came, I ran to my computer to tell my friend what I could not believe just happened.
The Comcast Guy called me a couple times afterward, but I thought the story would be much more romantic if we only had the one porno-esque fling; therefore I didn’t feel the need to see each other again. Since he actually had the decency to call me a couple times, he probably isn’t the kind of guy who does this daily. So I’d like to think that he went home that night and jerked off thinking about how fucking hot it was that he went to work today and got paid to hook up with an 18 year old girl.
It’s definitely one of my favorite stories, and I still can’t believe it happened. While I can’t recommend Comcast for their products, telephone customer service, WiFi reliability, price, their monopolizing ways, or much else, I can say firsthand that their tech installs really are the “Future of Awesome.”
Have you ever had this fantasy?