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A “Clean Screen” is Like “New Vibrator Battery Day.”


Every person who has ever owned a vibrator (before the fancy-pants rechargeable kind), knows the struggle of batteries slowly dying over time. This can take weeks depending on your frequency of use, so the worst part is that the change is so undetectable that you barely notice it happening until one day, you “could swear this thing used to feel better.” Hopefully you’re fortunate enough to not only have new batteries somewhere, but to have the proper size for your device. If you do, there is nothing compared to the first time you switch that bugger on and remember what you’ve been missing.

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Recently, I’ve discovered that the “clean screen” event is similar to “New Vibrator Battery Day.” For my non-stoner friends, a screen is what you would use in your pipe or bong to hold and filter the weed so you don’t inhale it, among other uses.

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Resin is a byproduct formed by combustion of marijuana using a flame or other extreme heat source, which represents itself as a black, viscous liquid that hardens when cool. It acts almost like glue that cements in the mesh of the screen, so you can understand why trying to smoke through it can be nearly impossible.  You have to suck that thing like it’s your job. What is referred to as “clean screen” is when you replace or clean the screen after it has gotten clogged and “gunked” up from resin after some time. So when someone hands you a pipe and says, “Clean screen,” they’re warning you, so don’t vacuum that shit or you’re gonna be hurting.

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One step in cleaning the screen is to apply heat to melt the resin.

So I find that the satisfaction of replacing a screen after days of sucking so hard my neck hurts, (that sounds naughty?), is just as satisfying as it used to be to replace my vibrator batteries. This of course was back in the prehistoric times of sex toys before rechargeables and corded toys like my beloved Magic Wand Original. If you don’t have one yet, I CANNOT URGE YOU MORE VEHEMENTLY to buy one. If the rechargeable isn’t in the budget, the Original is all you need. Good Vibrations is a partner of mine, and I can’t recommend them enough for price, product, and customer service. I’ve bought from them plenty of times!

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What are your clean screen and New Battery Day stories?

21 comments on “A “Clean Screen” is Like “New Vibrator Battery Day.”

  1. I love clean Cardenas. There only challenge is that I with a nice, fresh screen, I sometimes sometimes take such a HUGE hit I end up coughing half of it out before I can blower it into my loving wife’s mouth. I guess it is possible to have too much of even so good a thing as weed.

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  2. Lol I can remember stealing the screens from the faucets for the pipe. I switched to stones after awhile.. Only thing needed to clean them was a pipe cleaner. Smooth draw and enhanced the flavor (or maybe I was just stoned).. Now I have a job where I can’t smoke anymore.. So those days are just happy memories.

    Liked by 1 person

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